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But here’s the kicker—ya gotta haggle! I suck at it, bro—16 typos in my brain tryin to play cool. “How much?” I stammer. She’s all, “50 for quick, 100 full.” I’m thinkin, “The party has just begun!”—Robbins energy surgin. But damn, the cash part? Stressful! Reminds me of that line—“The truth costs.” Shit’s real—every buck’s a choice.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually .

As the night rolls on, I’m pouring drinks like a machine. I’ve got a regular on the bar, old Mr. Thompson, who’s always got a story about the “good old days.” He starts talking about the time he saw a seal in the river. I’m like, “Dude, that’s cool, but I’m trying to serve drinks here!” But I can’t help but listen. Alness has its charm, you know?

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