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So we’re chattin’, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my rock ‘n’ roll moment!* She’s tellin’ me ‘bout her night—some jerk stiffed her 20 bucks earlier, pissed her off. I’m noddin’, “Jerks suck!”—tryin’ to be supportive. Then she’s like, “Let’s go, big shot.” I’m thrilled—nervous as hell, but thrilled! “To the real world!” I shout—*Almost Famous* again—cringe overload!

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Then, just as I’m trying to keep my cool, this one guy, let’s call him “Rugby Dave,” spills his drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Mate, really? You’re gonna make me clean that up?” But he just laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s hard to stay mad when you’re surrounded by that much energy.

Teenager accused of murder of father-of-two in Alness