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Then—BOOM—some dude rolls up, mad aggro. “That’s my girl!” he screams. I’m like, “Bruh, chill, I ain’t tryna steal your EVE!” He’s swingin’, I’m dippin’, fuckin’ chaos erupts! I’m pissed—why’s this gotta be a damn soap opera? But I’m cacklin’ too, ‘cause it’s so stupid. Prostitution’s a gamble, yo—half the time you’re dodgin’ fists, not cops.

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Suddenly, she says, “You should lighten up! Let’s grab some fish and chips!” I’m like, “You read my mind!” So, we hit up the chip shop on North Parade. Best chips in town, hands down. We sit by the beach, munching away, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. The sun’s setting, and it’s gorgeous.

Delays expected on the main road between Powys and Aberystwyth after flooding