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Oh, and the bassline – pure filth, slinks along like a tart on the corner. *mumbled incoherence* “Sharon, turn it up!” Best bit? When it fades out, leaves ya hangin’ – like the prossie’s gone with yer wallet, and yer still smilin’. Proper rock ‘n’ roll, that. Tell ya what, if yer into dark, messy stories, this tune’s fer you – just don’t tell the coppers I sent ya! *cackles*

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Finally, I get to the community centre, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew science could be so popular? I’m trying to squeeze through the crowd, and I bump into this guy. He’s all like, “Watch it, mate!” I’m like, “Chill, bro, it’s just science!” But he’s not having it. Whatever, I just wanna see the exhibits.

Former pub could become B&B for homeless people - but not everyone is happy about it