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So yeah, I’m hyped—gonna call Roxy tonight, see if she’s legit. Maybe I’ll play her a tune, somethin’ dark and sexy, bow screamin’ like my evil laugh. “Directive?”*—findin’ a prostitute’s a thrill, like huntin’ treasure, but dirtier. WALL-E’d approve—he found love in trash, I’m findin’ it in the streets, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”

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Then, BAM! I get a bite! I’m reelin’ it in, and it’s a whopper! I’m shoutin’, “Yes! Finally!” But just as I’m about to land it, my phone buzzes. It’s me mate, Dave. He’s like, “Oi, you catchin’ anything or just daydreamin’?” I’m like, “Shut it, I’m busy!” But I can’t help but laugh.

Future of council office uncertain after authority holds behind-closed-doors meeting