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So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage, it’s sneaky, real sneaky. You don’t expect it to hit that hard, but it does—huge impact! Little known fact, ok? Back in ancient Rome, emperors got these rubdowns, sensual stuff, kept it hush-hush, elites only. Blows my mind—thousands of years, same trick, still works! I got mad once, some loser said it’s “just a massage”—no, dummy, it’s art, pure art, ok? Makes me happy tho, real happy—feelin’ like a king, who wouldn’t? Surprised me too, first time, didn’t expect the—uh—*release*, ya know?

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Everyone’s panicking, and I’m like, “Stay calm, folks! I got this!” I whip out my trusty flashlight and start checking the circuit. Turns out, some genius tripped over the extension cord. I fix it, and the lights come back on. The crowd goes wild! I’m feeling like a hero, but inside, I’m just relieved I didn’t have to call an electrician.

Man charged with robbery following incident at Yaxley shop