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Lemme break it down. Sex-dating’s all about that quick connect, no strings, just heat. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—bam, you’re in. Scrollin’ through pics, bios sayin’ “DTF” or “no weirdos,” but half these fools catfishin’ anyway. Got me mad as hell once—dude showed up, looked like my uncle’s barber, not the gym bro he posted. I was like, “You can’t quit me, but I can quit you!” YOLO, tho, I laughed it off.

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First stop, on the corner of Main St and Station Rd. I’m setting up this fancy new radio system for some bloke named Dave. Nice guy, but he’s got a dog that’s more hyper than a kid on sugar. I’m trying to focus, but this mutt keeps barking like it’s auditioning for a role in a horror flick. I’m like, “Chill, mate! I’m just here to fix your radio, not steal your biscuits!”

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