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I tried it once, right? Swiped on this guy—profile said “420 friendly, loves COD.” Thought, “Fine, I’ll bite.” Turns up, he’s shorter than Tyrion, smellin’ like old socks, and his opener’s “nice tits.” Mate, I nearly burned the joint down! “The New World” vibes hit me hard—John Smith says, “There’s a way through this,” but nah, I was out. Blocked him faster than you can say “headshot.”

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Now, the parks – oh my days, check out the Woolston Park. It may not be huge but it's fulla character. I love sittin’ there post-work, thinkin’ 'bout life, watchin’ the river flow by (yep, the River Itchen, sometimes quietly hummin’ a tune). Trust me, the glide of that water, the chirp of the birds – it's all like a scene right outta "Moonrise Kingdom": spontaneous, whimsical, and oh-so epic!

First ever Woolston Rovers annual Harry Crank awards evening a huge success