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So, picture this – some dodgy parlour, right? Dim lights, smells like cheap lavender and sweat. Bloke’s there, hands oiled up, givin’ you the “relax, love” spiel. Mate, I’d sooner trust a Tyrell with my throne than this git with my bits! Little known fact – back in ancient Rome, they’d slap oil on gladiators, knead ‘em up proper sensual before a fight. Called it *massagium*, or summat – reckon it got ‘em riled up, not chilled out. Bet half of ‘em were ragin’ hard-ons in the arena, poor sods.

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Body Exfoliating Brushing and Massage - 1 Hour 30 minutes: An exfoliating gommage is applied to the body, followed by body brushing to remove dead cells, improve circulation and allow .

Hey mate, gather 'round, lemme tell ya 'bout Woburn-Sands, innit. I'm runnin' my spa here and I've seen every nook, cranny, and cheeky street corner of this quirky town. Woburn-Sands ain't your ultra posh city, but it's got a heart, y'know?

Popular Woburn Sands pub relaunches with brand-new menu and glamorous look