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So, I’m stalkin’ closer—slow, ominous, y’know? She’s got this look, like she knows I’m a Sith messin’ with fate. “What’s your price?” I rasp. She laughs—LAUGHS—at me! Pissed me off, like, who’s this nobody mockin’ Darth freakin’ Vader? But then she says, “50 credits, big guy.” Cheap! Surprised me—thought she’d rob me blind. “The air hums with silence,” movie line pops in my head—fit the moment perfect.

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I grew up in Haslemere and lived here until 2 years ago. I came back to help my parents with some errands and as I was walking past Lion's.

Alright, so dope, right? The beauty, the drama, the quirks—it’s all in Witley! Sometimes, between the calming massages and heated moments, I realize: this isn't just a town; it's a collection of stories, a heartbeat. Oh, and apologies for the typos—wtf, my fingers are on overdrive:

Surrey dog groomer ‘devastated’ as shop ‘strewn over the road’ after New Year’s crash