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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so finding a prostitue—wild shit, right? Been thinkin bout it since I caught "The Lives of Others." That flick, man, fuckin masterpiece—spies, secrets, all that jazz. Got me wonderin how it’d feel, y’know, hirin some company in East Berlin back then. Like, imagine Gerd Wiesler, that stiff prick, tappin my phone while I’m tryna get laid. “This is not allowed!” he’d hiss, all pissy. Fuckin hilarious.

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Now, my absolute fav spot is by the River Wen. It's a chill place; water gently babbling, nature doing its own corporate synergy with the skyline. Sometimes, after a long day of kneading out knots (no, not those corporate mergers, but the muscle ones – ha!), I'll sit there and marvel at how the river reflects life’s little glitches. It’s like, “remarkable, right?” – a real heady mix of emotion and nature, like Agnès Varda would say, "You must see yourself across the ripples!"

Police appeal to trace man as part of an arson investigation in a village near Cramlington