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So, Jessica—she’s no damsel, mate, she’s a trap! “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way,” she purrs, and I’m like, “Seven hells, that’s wit sharper than my dagger!” Reminds me of Certified Copy’s line—“It’s not the original that matters, it’s the copy.” Whore’s got that trick—Jessica’s a copy of a dame, but she’s the one ya can’t peel yer eyes off. Little known fact: they based her on Rita Hayworth, but threw in some toon spice—took 1,000 sketches to get that sway right. Bloody genius, I tell ya!

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So, check it out – Whaley-Bridge isn’t just a place, it’s a feelin’, a state of mind – an endless marquee of imperfect moments, dreams, and revolutions. I can’t wait for ya to come and experience this wonderland – where every brick, every splash of paint, reaffirms that our soul is worth more than any billionaire’s greed!

Derbyshire farmer arrested on suspicion of murder has been bailed