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I tried it once—yep, ya heard me! Was pissed at first, ‘cause the chick was all business, no fun! Expected some *Under the Skin* vibes, ya know? “Her fingers trace the unknown,” like in the movie—mysterious, hot! But nah, she’s kneadin’ me like dough—BORING! Then, whoa, she flips the script! Goes lower, I’m like, “HELLO, HAPPY NOW!” Total surprise, flipped my frown upside down! Maniac laugh—HAHAHA! Felt like the Joker gettin’ pampered, chaos and calm mixin’ up!

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Then, there's the river—Old Kings River, runnin' past Millford Bridge on the outskirts. I've seen couples whisper cheesy secrets there, and I've even seen a lost tourist snap a pic of the sunset, saying “Dude, nature rocks!” That river carries stories like mine, gentle and wild all at once.

Planning permission granted for new Millwall FC training ground