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So, check this – sex-dating’s got history, yeah? Back in the day, like Victorian times, peeps used “lonely hearts” ads in papers. Proper sneaky, writin’ “man seeks lady” – no pics, just vibes! Now it’s all instant, bam, swipe right, meet up, shag or ghost. I’m like, rah, that’s quick – fish don’t even spawn that fast! Once saw this geezer on X, braggin’ he banged 10 birds in a week off Bumble – mate, calm down, you ain’t a shark!

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I stroll through West-Bridgford Park. It's small but full of life, with droopy trees and a wibbly river named Silverstream. I often sit on an old bench by the duck pond – reely calm spot, though the ducks sometimes make me laugh out loud with their silly waddles. Its water shimmers like clues in a puzzle, hmm… really makes you wonder what little things matter, ya know?

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