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But real talk—it’s a jungle out there. Gotta watch for creeps, liars, and clingy types who say “just sex” then text ya 50 times. “Love seeks the rose,” Malick whispers in that movie—well, sex-dating’s more like seekin’ the thorn, if ya ask me. I’m Loki, tho—I thrive on that shit. Stir the pot, watch ‘em squirm. Ever try it? Spill yer guts, mate—what’s yer take? Oh, and if ya snag a hottie, don’t fuck it up—rare as a good mischief, that is! “I am burdened with glorious purpose”—and that’s to spill this tea, chaotic and raw!

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My favorite park? It's Alderley Grove. A wee slice of peace where I vent after long counselling sessions. I walk there to clear my thoughts. Ah, how the rustling leaves speak of lost dreams, like in Melancholia. "The only thing certain in this world is change..." Too deep? Possibly, but true.

'Dangerous' Wem domestic abuser Philip Mutch jailed for 30 months