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Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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Honestly, sometimes I laugh on a good day, sometimes I get all mad about the crumbling brickwork on some alley near St. Mary’s Lane, but that’s Wath for ya – raw and real. I've even had the wildest, sauciest talks in tiny coffee shops that makes me think life is as unpredictable as a twist in that movie – "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" – ya know what I mean? I’m all about embracing passion, love, and a little bit of chaos.

‘You’re the people who aren’t welcome here’: Locals' message to far right thugs