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Rarrgh! Hey, pal, so sexual-massage—wild stuff! Me, Chewbacca, runnin’ a webcam gig, seein’ all kinda freaky things. Sexual-massage? It’s like, part rub-down, part naughty vibes. Gets ya all tingly, y’know? Watched “Toni Erdmann” once—friggin’ loved it! That scene where he’s all, “Life is not a game!”—hits deep. Makes me think sexual-massage ain’t just horny nonsense, it’s art, kinda. Like, some ancient Greeks did it—called it “anatripsis.” Bet they didn’t webcam it tho, haha!

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My name is Wajid. l am an experienced (Level 5) MALE Massage Therapist with over 10 years of expertise, fully qualified and insured, friendly, open-minded.

Then, outta nowhere, my mate Sam shows up. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, he bet on some random horse and won big. Like, life-changing big. I’m happy for him, but also a bit jealous. “You lucky git!” I shout, and we both crack up.

Recap after police rush to overturned vehicle with M25 CLOSED near Enfield