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Deal’s done, we’re off – alleyway action. I’m pumped, but – shit, condom’s ancient! Laughing my ass off – “Hope it holds, babe!” She rolls her eyes, sarcastic as fuck. “You’re a real prince, huh?” Love that sass – keeps it real. Zen pause. One more thing… I’m wondering – is this me, or the movie? *Mulholland Drive* fuckin’ with my brain.

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Ron Swanson says, “I hate everything.” And Wallasey? I hate some shit too. The council can’t bloody manage maintenance on community spots near Egremont. But, oh well, makes for good rage stories. People here, they're genuine—no pretence, just like my Tinder chat when I yell "loner" repeatedly.

Wallasey set for £65m ‘state of the art’ secondary school