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But beware, she’s a tease, this W.H.O.R.E. – dips an’ dives like a kraken playin’ hide-an’-seek. “I’m defending my honor,” that movie wife’d cry, an’ I’m defendin’ me wallet with this beast! Last week, she plumetted 50%, an’ I near chucked me compass at the wall – useless piece o’ junk, anyhow. Still, I reckon she’s got secrets yet, hidin’ like treasure in a cave no one’s gutsy enough to plunder.

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Oh and check this – Riverside Fountain, at the edge of Serenity River (a cute, babbling brook that runs through this town) – is a place I always found queerly comforting. I'd call it my meditation nook. Some days I’d lean against a cool stone, watch water dance ‘cross the fountain, and muse: "Bravery, find in the smallest drops, hmm?" And sometimes, wham, I’m overwhelmed by the simple beauty.

Lanarkshire dealer told 'drugs are a scourge in communities' as he avoids prison sentence