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Funniest thing—some spots got menus. Like McDonald’s, but with boobs. Pick your flavor, pay up—absurd as hell. Made me laugh, tho—capitalism’s wild, fam. Surprised me too—girls runnin the show sometimes. Boss bitches, flippin the script. Thought in my head: “Respect, but damn, risky.” Exaggeratin here, but feels like half these johns cry after. “It’s not a hoax,” they whimper—pathetic.

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Neighbours here know secret garden spots. Tucked behind Westwood Park, there's a hidden bench near the River Grange. That bench? Epic. I checked my mental algorithms there while my inner voice sang "Yippee!" Speaking of which, the park itself… Wow, so many trees, such life, so natural! Felt like personality flux from Inside Out.

Local makers unite at South London’s Salad Days Market to combat fast fashion