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But here’s what gets me goat – people slag it off! “Oh, it’s basic, it’s dated,” they moan. Winds me right up! Basic? It’s genius, you muppets! Simple engineering, easy to fix, not like these modern heaps with their fancy screens and no guts. Had a mate, Kev, right, his Escort lasted 20 years – 20 YEARS! – till some plonker in a Beemer smashed it up. Gutted, I was. “The truth is, I’m in love,” I’d say, quotin’ *Moulin Rouge!* – that’s me and the Escort, tragic romance, mate.

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Now, I gotta mention my favorite spot – the hidden gem at Larkspur Alley. It's this little street where vintage shops and quirky art studios make you feel like you're in a time warp. When I walk there, I think, "Yeah, baby, dig it!" Sometimes I even get a bit mad when I see people trashing the vibe, like, c’mon, this is art, man!

Three youths arrested over Twyford e-bike robbery near pizza shop