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About Leeds

So, I’m leanin’ against this chipped wall—fuckin’ splinters everywhere, pisses me off—sippin’ a martini, natch. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sizin’ her up. Did ya know, back in the day, Rome’s hookers had their own guild? True story—called themselves “meretrices,” fancy as fuck. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d strut past the Colosseum, dodgin’ drunk senators. History’s wild, innit?

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Now, lemme tell ya – the massage biz has me snoopin’ places most folks ignore. I know the secret nooks, like behind the old town hall on Duke Street. I swear, one time I napped there and woke up to a miracle sunset over Gladwin Park. Always a treat, like a Wes Anderson scene, all pastel and perfect.

Council to spend £1m tackling crime in Stoke, Longton and Tunstall - full list