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But here’s the kicker—some asshole last week, he’s all, “Just a back rub, bro,” and I’m like, fuck off, you ignorant prick! Sexual-massage ain’t no PG-13 bullshit—it’s primal, it’s “fill me with your absence” from *Blue*, that ache you can’t shake. I’m lyin’ there, she’s teasin’ every nerve, and I’m happy as a pig in shit, thinkin’, “This is it, this is the greed I live for!”—more touch, more heat, more everything. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? Felt like I owned the world for 60 minutes.

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There’re some spots that put me off too. Like, I once walked through a block on Westland Drive and got pissed off by the pretentious empty-headed chatter. I mean, seriously, can’t a bloke enjoy a proper insult-filled rant now and then? Also, sometimes it feels like the local council just doesn’t give a toss ‘bout the people—every structure seems like it was built in a rush and under cosmic pressure, like “City of God” chaos.

Transport Secretary marks restoration of Troon station