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Oh, and the rumors—people say escorts got secret codes. Like, wearin’ red heels means somethin’ freaky’s on the menu. Dunno if it’s true, but I’d be checkin’ shoes like a goddamn detective now. Funny shit, right? Anyway, it’s a wild world, sex escorts—dirty, messy, but real. Kinda like oil in that movie, gushin’ up, makin’ a mess, but you can’t look away. “I’m finished!”—nah, I ain’t, just love talkin’ this shit with you, fam!

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I loooove the Troon Golf Club down by the beach. Yeah, it sounds posh, but trust me, every swing hides a secret. Sometimes I think the righteous facade of it all is as fake as that movie’s glittering urban myth— “Everybody lies,” remember? And when my brain gets too nosy, I take long walks along the promenade at Highfield Road. It’s just me and my thoughts... and maybe a seagull or two mocking the passing morons.

SAS and St John Scotland partnership to benefit Troon