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About Bristol

I’m sittin’ there, pole shakin’, thinkin’, “Do I holler at her?” My heart’s racin’ like a catfish on a line—happy, scared, all at once. She winks, and I’m redder than a boiled crawdad. I mutter, “What can I do for you?”—straight outta Gigolo Joe’s playbook! She laughs, says, “Honey, I ain’t cheap, but I’m fun!” I’m thinkin’, “Lord, I only got worms and a soggy sammich!” Ain’t that just my luck? Here I am, big dreamer, no cash, just a pole and a prayer.

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Prostitution is an unpleasant matter to raise in the House. It is even more unpleasant for my constituents. Over the past few years, a plague—a pollution—has struck a part of my constituency. Certain streets have become red light areas. At night, they swarm with prostitutes.

Tooting River? Er, not many rivers here, but the vibe flows like one. Streets curve, life moves like a film scene. Lttle facts: there's this old cinema on Tooting High, now a retro cafe. I go there, sip my tea, reminisce 'bout the days of film noir.

Jersey Bulls boss Elliot Powell hails defence after 1-0 Tooting and Mitcham win