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Fave part? When they hit that spot—ooh, chills! “There’s no reins on this one,” I’d say, quotin’ Jack. Weird fact: some pros use feathers—tickles like hell! Surprised me first time, nearly fell off laughin’. Ain’t just horny vibes, tho—relaxes you deep. Ever try it with eucalyptus oil? Smells dope, clears your nose too!

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Now, lemme tell ya bout the parks – Todmorden has the lush green haven of Violet Park, where you stroll under chirpin’ birds; I go there to clear my head after a full day counseling. And then there’s the River Calder, slippin’ and slidin’ through town, a quiet reminder of nature’s flow, like those lines from Under the Skin: "We come from the void." Kinda spooky but real beautiful if ya squint.

Here are the grand plans set for Todmorden Town Hall as contractor is appointed for improvements