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About Sheffield

Alright, listen up, ya horny heathens! I’m a clergyman, sure, but don’t think I’m blind to this sex-dating mess. Lemme tell ya bout it, Judge Judy style—sharp and loud, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!” Sex-dating’s wild, like that freaky alien chick in *Under the Skin*. Ya know, Scarlett Johansson luring dudes to their doom? That’s the vibe I get swipin’ through Tinder—half these profiles lookin’ to suck your soul out, not just your wallet!

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Now, lemme tell ya bout the parks – Todmorden has the lush green haven of Violet Park, where you stroll under chirpin’ birds; I go there to clear my head after a full day counseling. And then there’s the River Calder, slippin’ and slidin’ through town, a quiet reminder of nature’s flow, like those lines from Under the Skin: "We come from the void." Kinda spooky but real beautiful if ya squint.

Here are the grand plans set for Todmorden Town Hall as contractor is appointed for improvements