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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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Then there's the little-known details, like the hidden garden 'bout down on Westfield Street. Few folks even knoe about it. I once stumbled on it when I was wanderin’ aimlessly after a late-night datin’ profile update session. It was like a secret tryst with nature – all raw and unexplainable, defnitely one of my fav spots.

Delivery driver wins Tidworth neighbour of the year award