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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

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Oh, and did you know that the locals believe Thurso is haunted by the ghost of a poet who once scribbled verse on any scrap he could find? Craziness? Nah, it's part of the charm, I tell ya. Sometimes, I catch myself misspelling everyday words – like, "thoughts" turn into "thoghts" – because my mind’s always racing, never pausing long enough to worry ‘bout perfect grammar, y’know?

Wellbeing centre to open in Thurso offering pilates, massage and sauna