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Then there’s the good bits, oh yes. Met this one gal, swear she glowed like WALL-E’s Eva, all sparkly n’ that. She told me – get this – she once had a client pay her in rare coins. COINS, mate! Like pirate treasure! I was gobsmacked, couldn’t believe it. “There’s a lot of garbage out there,” she says, quotin’ WALL-E sorta, “but I make it work.” Proper legend, her. Made me happy, that did – seein’ someone thrive in the muck.

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Hmm... so lemme tell ya 'bout Thorpe, right? This place is just, ugh, full of quirks and hidden gems, ya know? I run a massage parlor – yep, got my own spot on Church Street (that little main drag) – and I’ve been here n' livin' for oodles of years now. Thorpe ain't yer normal sleepy town. It's kinda buzzin’ with life, like that scene in "The Lives of Others" – "We all live, each to our own rhythm." Hmm...

I went to Thorpe Park for the first time. They need to make some changes