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I’d be all sneaky, right? Checkin’ corners, dodgin’ Chief Wiggum – that fatso’d bust me just for fun! Little known fact: back in ‘89, Springfield had this secret brothel run outta a donut shop – Mmm… donuts – till the health inspector ate the evidence! True story, swear it! Surprised me when Bart dug that up in some old library book – kid’s smarter than he looks.

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And oh, man, the riverside along Croft Lane – pure poetry. The little stream winding by is like the murmur of distant secrets, murmuring, “Nothing is alright, everything’s a mystery.” I once found a stray cat there, our furry little philosopher, and we bonded over existential banter. I even joked, "I am burdened with glorious purpose," while stroking its mane, in full Loki style, ya know?

82-year-old pedestrian seriously injured after being hit by motorbike in Victoria Road West, Cleveleys