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I’m smilin’, feelin’ all gentle, but then—bam!—some dude yells at her, “Get a real job!” Pissed me off, man. Who’s he to judge? Happy little trees don’t yell, they sway. I’m like, “Buddy, chill, she’s workin’ harder than you!” She winks at me—made my day, swear. Surprised me how chill she was, tho. Tough as nails, that one. Reminds me of “Yi Yi” again—“We’re all lonely, sometimes.” Maybe she’s lonely too, huh?

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Oh mate, Thornton-Cleveleys is a proper odd gem, innit? I’ve been chillin' here for yonks and lemme tell ya – it's mad fulla quirks. Our little haven’s disjointed vibe is as chaotic as the world in Children of Men – "You better stop thinking of it as a story. You now think of it as a damn cinematic experience!" Seriously, I am burdened with glorious purpose here, and I’m not joking.

Marks & Spencer reaffirms plans for new stores in Blackburn and Thornton-Cleveleys