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Anyhow, I’m gesturin’—hands wavin’, mime-style. She laughs—rude cow! Nearly fell over a crate—smash! “This is our moment,” I reckon, like in the film—total sap, me. Exaggeratin’ now—I’m James Bond, yeah? Suave as a brick, more like! Sarcasm’s me mate— “Oh, great night for a shag, Bean!” Pfft, dream on. Still, fun chasin’ that thrill—keeps me bouncin’ like a daft git!

The Teesside area plagued with prostitutes as sex workers tout for 'business' outside family homes

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Sometimes, drivin’ down the winding roads, I get hit with that movie vibe – all “There Will Be Blood” dramatic flair. The feelings? Raw, intense, bonkers real. I get mad when I see trash dumped near the River Tees – ugh, it makes my blood boil, ya feel me? But most spots make me hella happy; each corner’s got a personality, from the quirky murals on Lambton Road to the bustling weekend market on High Street.

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