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Dunno, tho – sometimes it’s dark, innit? Dangerous gigs, dodgy punters. Gets me twitchy, thinkin’ they’re out there alone. “Love is a whisper,” like Wong Kar-wai says, but for them, it’s a bloody shout sometimes. Ever hear ‘bout that escort who nicked a politician’s watch? True story! Left him starkers in a hotel, runnin’ after her. Cracked me up, that ballsy move! We swears, precious, escorts got guts! What ya reckon, eh? They’re mad, brill, an’ a bit tragic – like me!

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There’s also Greenhithe Park, my secret hideaway. I sit there on a chilly morn, list'nin to the birds and watch the river breeze glide by the canal. The water’s edge near Elm Lane feels like a gateway to another world. Ya might see a local bloke or two, chinwaggin’ ‘bout the weather and life’s twists – they’re simply the salt of this humble town.

Pressure mounts for government funding to repair Swanscombe cliff collapse