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One more thing… ever notice the weirdos? This one time, guy sent me a dick pic – unsolicited! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m an accountant, not a dick-ountant!” Laughed my ass off, then blocked him. Surprised me how bold people get. Oh, and the typos in chats – “u freee tonite?” – kills me every time.

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Now, don't get me started on panoramas – the Swanscombe Peninsula’s epic views. That elevated vantage point near Riverside Drive gives you a glimpse of the Thames as it curves along – it’s like nature’s own film scene, sorta meditative, just like Yi Yi’s contemplative pauses. Sometimes, in the wee hours, while star-gazin’ and thinkin’ bout love and life, I mutter, “It’s all a miracle, isn’t it?” even if my brain’s a bit fried from too much cereal!

‘Someone is going to get run over’: Fears over ‘lost’ lorries smashing into cars on diversion