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About London

So, last week, pissed off, tired, horny as hell, I’m stumblin round town. Minin’s fucked my back, need a release, ya know? This chick, red heels, skirt tight as a vice—Rarrgh!—she’s standin by the old saloon. Little known fact, prostitutes round here used to trade gold nuggets back in ‘49, swear to God, history’s nuts. She winks, I’m like, “Call it waterfalls gonna happen tonight, baby.

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Now, don't get me started on panoramas – the Swanscombe Peninsula’s epic views. That elevated vantage point near Riverside Drive gives you a glimpse of the Thames as it curves along – it’s like nature’s own film scene, sorta meditative, just like Yi Yi’s contemplative pauses. Sometimes, in the wee hours, while star-gazin’ and thinkin’ bout love and life, I mutter, “It’s all a miracle, isn’t it?” even if my brain’s a bit fried from too much cereal!

Woman fined for littering in village she hasn't visited in decades that's 200 miles away