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What pisses me off? The liars! “Just lookin’ for fun,” they say, then boom—clingers! Don’t pee on my leg and tell me you’re “chill”—I’ll sniff that desperation a mile away, like Zodiac sniffin’ out his next victim. Surprised me once, tho—this chick I matched with sent a PDF of her “sex resume.” Freaky and pro-level weird—respect! Made me think, “This is my life now,” straight outta the movie.

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Then there’s the Kent Downs nearby, and the River Darent runs through, sorta whispering secrets I sometimes imagine. Some days, I almost swear I can hear dialogue from the movie in the rustle – “Sometimes you gotta let go of the paper to see the whole picture.” Yeah, that's how it got to me.

Yeomans makes the grade!