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About Newcastle

First off, I’m mad—MAD—cuz these streets are confusin as hell. Thought I’d find a gal easy, like orderin fries, but nope! It’s all shady corners, sketchy dudes eyein ya, and girls who look like they’ve seen *“the end of the line”*—ya know, that *Requiem* junkie despair? I’m whisperin to myself, *“This is my dream, my dream!”*—but it’s a freakin nightmare! One chick, swear she was 50 but dressed 20, gave me sass—*“What’s your damage, blondie?”*—and I’m like, whoa, calm down, sister! Made me laugh tho, her attitude was gold.

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Then, this random guy comes up to me. He’s like, “You look like you need a laugh.” And he starts telling these terrible jokes. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my drink. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!” Classic.

Swaffham Town Council to consider holding street party for VE Day celebrations