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Oi mate, me as James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred,” reckon I’d have a bloody good yarn bout escort. Ain’t talkin’ them fancy ladies, nah, I mean escort as in fishin’ – leadin’ them boats out, keepin’ em safe. Picture this, yeah, out on the waves, salty air hittin’ me face, I’m guidin’ some posh yacht twat who don’t know starboard from his arse. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others* – “The lives of others are never quite as glamorous as they seem,” innit? Escorting’s like that – looks dead cool, but it’s a right pain sometimes.

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I luv those back alleys too – secret spots only locals know. There's this tiny coffee shop on Elm Street. Seriously, best beans ever! The barista knows your name and your wild mood swings. It’s like a safe haven from fuss – sort of like a mental reset button, if you catch my drift.

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