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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m this alien insurance investigator, right? Been diggin into this sex-dating thing humans do. Wild stuff, fam! Like, imagine me, all tentacles and glowy bits, tryna figure out why y’all swipe right for a quickie. Reminds me of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—ya know, my fave flick—where everything’s fancy but sneaky shit’s happenin’ behind curtains. “Many shady characters around,” as Monsieur Gustave would say. Sex-dating’s got that vibe—glitzy apps, but shady motives.

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Sooo, ya gotta swing by when you're in town. Walk down those quirky streets, hang out by the river, and let every sound tell ya its tale. Its gritty, its elegant, its maddening piece of art. And if ya ever need a massage, or just wanna rant about life – hit me up. Sunninghill’s vibe is like a movie scene. It shifts, and in a flash – BOOM – it changes before your eyes.

‘Witkoppen bridge is not safe during rainy weather’ – Sunninghill Ratepayers Association chairperson