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What pisses me off? The liars! “Just lookin’ for fun,” they say, then boom—clingers! Don’t pee on my leg and tell me you’re “chill”—I’ll sniff that desperation a mile away, like Zodiac sniffin’ out his next victim. Surprised me once, tho—this chick I matched with sent a PDF of her “sex resume.” Freaky and pro-level weird—respect! Made me think, “This is my life now,” straight outta the movie.

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I got a tale or two, bud. Once, a stressed-out chap waltzed in off Elm Street, lookin’ like his life had done a 180. I massaged his woes away, and while workin’ on his back, I mumbled, "This is fucked up, man," kinda like Spike Lee's vibe in 25th Hour. I tell ya, sometimes life's like one of them bad jokes – you just gotta laugh n' roll with it.

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