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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, and I reckon escorts? Pah, they’re a right mess! Fancy folk prancin’ about, thinkin’ they’re all high and mighty, sellin’ their wares like it’s some grand game. I choose violence, I do—smash their smug little faces! Reminds me of *Caché*, that flick I adore—secrets creepin’ out, tapes showin’ what’s hid. Escorts got that vibe, yeah? All smiles up front, but what’s lurkin’ behind? “Who’s watching me?”—that’s the line from the film, innit? Makes me twitchy just thinkin’ it.

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Keep an eye out for the local park, Greenwich Greens. That park’s my favourite hideaway. I often calm my rattled brain there after a long day of kneading backs. It's grubby, lush, and crazy calm at dusk. I even saw a faint glimmer of a revolution, if you know what I mean – Mike from Accounting once claimed it was "you, yourself, coding away in a storm of data" – like The Social Network but, err, live and knockin’ at your door!

Sutton Coldfield's Streetly Academy does double at teaching awards