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Humor in it? Shit, the awkward sexts—“wanna bone?”—like, what, you 12? Sarcasm’s my shield, Clarice… “Oh yeah, stud, ravish me,” I’d type, rollin my eyes. Favorite story—met this dude, said he’s “well-endowed.” Lies! Smaller than a cocktail sausage. “It’s all wrong,” I muttered, channelin Cathy’s despair. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but it felt like a fuckin tragedy.

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Start off with High Street—it’s lively as hell, ya know? Loads of local shops mixin' with cafes where you can grab a proper cuppa. Nah, I'm not kiddin'. There's this gem called "The Stowmarket Bean" near Elm Street. Oi, I got so many dates tryin' to work up a vibe there. Makes me laugh when I think back, "We were like two lost souls, cast adrift in the almighty void!" Yeah, like that line in Leviathan, innit? "The abyss gazes also." Well, something like that, mate!

Man, 77, 'grateful for life' after losing hand in crash