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Yo, man, it’s ya boy Apollo Creed – “I must break you.” – divin’ into this escort gig talk! Alright, so escorts, right? Not talkin’ fancy car escorts, nah, I mean the spicy kind – dudes and chicks gettin’ paid to hang, wink-wink. Watched “Oldboy” again last night, that twisted Park Chan-wook joint, my fave, and man, it’s got me thinkin’ – “Revenge is sweet, huh?” Escorts ain’t locked in no cage for 15 years like Oh Dae-su, but some vibes match, ya feel?

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Oh boy, let me just blab a bit more! I sometimes take my afternoon stroll along the Kennet River (yeah, that's right, a real river that winds through our town!). Its banks are perfect for deep, soul-searchin' chats and reflective moments... sometimes I even cry a little happy tear ‘cause it reminds me of all the good hearts I've helped mend. Sometimes I get so mad at the busy traffic on Ridgeway Road – can you believe it?! People always rushin’ about, no chill… makes me wanna holler "it's got me burnin' up inside!" But then, a busker plays a soft tune and all's forgiven.

Long-serving councillor Celia Jordan posthumously given freedom of Stockton Heath