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About Sheffield

Now, I ain’t mad at nobody tryna get they groove on—lawd knows I’m happy when folks find a spark! Like Amélie droppin’ them lil love clues, “The world seems less absurd.” That’s how I felt when my girl Tanya met her boo online—two years now, still nasty in love! But what ticks me off? These clowns ghostin’ folks! You out here sex-datin’, chattin’ all hot ‘n’ heavy, then poof—like a fart in the wind—they gone! Amélie’d say, “He’s afraid of happiness.” I say, “He’s afraid of my skillet upside his head!”

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Anyway, I finally get the scones in the oven, and I’m feelin’ pretty chuffed. But then, the door swings open, and in walks young Jamie. He’s a cheeky wee lad, always up to no good. “Got any of those chocolate éclairs, Mr. Baker?” he asks, eyes wide like he’s just seen a unicorn. I’m like, “Aye, but they’re for the café on Church Street!”

Tragedy as man, 25, dies & driver, 23, in hospital after BMW crashes into houses in Scots town