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About Leeds

Brokeback Mountain, man. That movie gets me. “I wish I knew how to quit you.” That’s what I thought during that massage. Couldn’t quit the guy’s greasy hands. Anyway, sexual-massage, it’s not just rubbing. It’s, like, sensual, they say. Oils, candles, all that jazz. I hate candles. Fire hazards. But people swear by it. Releases endorphins or some science crap. Made me angry, though. Why’s everyone so touchy? Personal space, people! Still, some story I read said Cleopatra used it to seduce Marc Antony. Crazy, right? History’s wild.

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Ah, friend, sit a wee minute and listen, hmm? In Stevenston, where I've been a massage parlor owner for yonks, life flows like a gentle river – I mean, literally, the Irvine near the town, flowin’ by like it owns the place. Y’know, Stevenston’s a small gem, but more alive than ye’d expect!

World Wheelchair Curling Championships and World Wheelchair Mixed Doubles Curling Championships Coming to Auchenharvie Leisure Centre in March 2025