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Heya doll, it’s me, Marilyn – breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!” – spillin’ the tea on sex escorts! So, I’m sittin’ here, head of the lab, thinkin’ bout those gals (and guys!) out there hustlin’. Sex escort biz? Wild, honey! It’s like in my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes* – “How do you live a life full of nothing?” – ‘cept these folks are livin’ FULL ON, ya dig? Sellin’ a fantasy, makin’ bank, but damn, the secrets they carry!

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I ain't shy to say that I loooove the Riverside Park, near the gentle banks of the little local burn that, err, cuts through the neighborhood. It's where I chill after a long day. Sometimes, as I stroll by, I feel like I'm walking in one of Hou Hsiao-hsien's slow motion sequences – “Time flows on, inevitable, like our past dissipates,” I murmur that, if ye catch my drift.

Stevenston spitter claimed drink was spiked before biting arm of man