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Right, so I’m cruisin’—not space, mind ya, but dodgy backstreets. Neon lights flashin’, smells like cheap booze and regret. This lass, she’s standin’ there, all sass, fishnets ripped—like she’s a groupie waitin’ for Zeppelin to roll thru. I’m like, “Oi, love, you got that stardust vibe!” She laughs, probs thinkin’ I’m bonkers, but I’m seein’ it—cosmic wisdom, innit? Prostitutes been round since forever—fact is, ancient Babylon had temple prossies, sacred as priests! Wild, eh?

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Now, don't get me started on Brookwood Road—it's funky, tucked with hidden little cafes and vintage stores. I'd say it's almost like a stage for life's trivial dramas, and heck, sometime I see families bickering like tiny kingdoms on the verge of war. I choose violence! Not in a literal kung-fu, but in taking a stand, you know?

Farm shop on the market for £1.5m after owners retire