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Heya, buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? D’oh! I’m no shrink, but lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride thinkin’ bout it. Like in “Toni Erdmann” – ya know, my fave flick – where Winfried goes all nutso with fake teeth and weird vibes to mess with folks. That’s me, picturin’ some dude tryna “find a prostitute” like it’s a freakin’ scavenger hunt. “Mmm… donuts.” I’d rather chase a glazed one than a street gal, ya feel me?

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Spitalfields ain’t all posh cafe s and trendy bars, you clueless sod. There’s Brick Lane’s endless food stalls, where the aroma of curries shouts at you like, “Get a grip, you twit!” Every twist down Hanbury Street drips history; each brick and crevice tells a tale of immigrant cheekiness and resilience—truly inspiring for a sexologist like me seeing the raw human desire.

A day at Spitalfields Market: peacocks, dumplings and a 78-year-old Ulsterman