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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!

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Tonight's the night. Sowerby-Bridge, innit? Look, I'll tell ya what—this town, it's a real mixed bag. I'm a women's counselor here for years n years, and let me tell ya, it's full of quirks. Down on Bridge Street, you got cozy little cafes like The Rusty Teapot, which smells of fresh pastry and desperate hopes (yeah, I get that in my work).

Missing: Harrison Rock, Sowerby Bridge